You are not what you do. Got it?
Whether you practice law or drive
a cab, you – the you that likes toast with butter and cinnamon sugar or smoking
cigars or playing with the grandchildren or taking a good nap – are not a
lawyer or a cab driver. You are not what you do, and confusing your work with your
self-identity is a surefire route to misery.
There is, of course, nothing
wrong with working hard, enjoying our achievements and the recognition of our
peers and clients. But how often do we
confuse our self-worth with our title, our work, our billable hours or our
rain-making? These are all important things and we can and should take pride in
them. But you are not your work or any other label people apply to you.
I am not a lawyer - I am a person
who practices law. I am a person. Success or failure on any given day is not me. I may fail, but I am not a failure. And,
no, this is not an exercise in semantics.
I do other things and have other interests
besides being a good lawyer. For example, I’m a photographer in addition to
being a lawyer. I’m a poet in addition to being a photographer. I’m a skier in addition
to being a poet. My self-worth resides in none of these things. I can take a
huge fall skiing, write a terrible poem, shoot a photograph that is poorly
executed and lose a lawsuit. All of
these would be very disappointing, and all are failures, but I am not a
failure.
Do I feel upset when I fail at
something? Of course I do. But not confusing who I am with what I do allows me
to take risks that I might well not take otherwise. Failure is nothing to fear when we don’t
mistake our sense of self with our work.
So go out there and fail mightily
at whatever it is that is important to you; discover the power of knowing that
failing does not mean you are a failure.
By the way, if you’ve read any of
my work before, you won’t be surprised when I tell you that practicing mindfulness
meditation is one of the best ways to realize and keep clear the distinction
between who you are and what you do.
As the Tao te Ching says:
"Do
your work and step back, the only way to serenity”
Thanks for reading.
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